I Don't Know Why
by Lady Cheese
Summary: A LJ one-shot fic "I always knew I was different, I always knew that I was a god given gift to the women on earth. Everyone loves me, everyone that is except the one person I love the most."


_Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!_

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I Don't Know Why 

I always knew I was different, I always knew that I was a god given gift to the women on earth. Everyone loves me, everyone that is except the one person I love the most. She told me I was stupid. She said that nobody could truly love a prat like me, yet with each harsh word and comment I found a reason to love her even more.

I've loved her since the first time I saw her almost seven years ago. My best friend still laughs over the events that happened that day and tells me I'm hopeless, but when it comes down to everything at the end of the day I know I can always count on him to walk away from his girl of the week and help me win the girl of my dreams heart. Or at least get her to go on a date with me.

It's become a sort of ritual. Every day after dinner her and her friends sit in the common room laughing and doing their homework, and everyday after dinner Sirius and I would walk up to her. And while Sirius shamelessly flirted with her friends I would once again ask her out on a date.

Every day after dinner I would be rejected, and everyday after dinner my heart would be broken again for the millionth time.

When Christmas break came around during my seventh and final year at Hogwarts I had come to completely believe that like the love of my life always said, "Nobody could ever truly love a prat"

My friend Remus once asked why I liked her so much, we were in our fourth year at the time and I had no clue how to answer this question. For some reason though the question wouldn't leave. It would follow me around waiting to find it's answer, and about a month later I did just that.

 I realized that the reason I loved her so much was because she wasn't like every other girl. She, unlike the rest of the female population at the school, didn't swoon at the mere sight of me, instead she'd scowl. She didn't faint when I smiled at her, instead she'd roll her eyes and walk away.

I love the way she rolls her eyes. I love that she only rolls her eyes at me, and how she saves her scowl of hatred for my direction. She doesn't realize that every time, I only love her more.

When Christmas break came around I stopped tripping over my feet for this girl. I stopped believing that she could ever love me in return. I finally came to accept that my Lily didn't even like me.

During this time I did what any sensible person would do. I ignored her. I ignored her like the plague.

Then two weeks after Christmas break something happened. I don't know why she did it, but I was glad she did. My Lily willingly came up to me, she willingly looked into my eyes and she willingly talked to me. In years to come I wouldn't remember what we talked about, but it was one of the happier moment in my life, all because she smiled her first genuine and true smile at me.

"I don't know why," she said as she looked up at me. (My Lily is very short) "But when tonight's dinner is over I want you to ask me out again."

A very strange request coming from my Lily

"I don't know why," she continued, now staring at the floor like it would do a trick if she didn't look up, "But I miss seeing you smile as you say my name" she whispered

"I don't know why, but I liked the way your eyes light up when I tell you that I'll go on a date with you"

"You never did show up for that one" I replied

"I thought it would make you stop," she cried as a tear rolled down her cheek.

It was at that moment that I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms and tell her everything would be all right. To whisper comforting words into her ear and to have her cry on my shoulder until she could cry no more, but it never happened.

Instead I choked out a two-word reply, "I did"

"I don't know why," she said again, "But I find myself starting to like you. And I find myself whishing I could spend every minute of every day with you."

She was now on the floor sobbing uncontrollably, but I held back and let her continue.

"And I don't know why, but I find myself falling in love with you. I don't know why, but I Lily Evans, love you, James Potter, and I don't want that to change."

This was something that only happened in dreams, a fantasy, or in Sirius' case, a nightmare. I found myself pinching my arm just to make sure I wasn't asleep.

I don't really remember what we talked about that day, but I do remember the way she smiled at me for the first time. I remember the way she kissed me for the first time. The thing that I remember most about that day though, was the way she told me she loved me, and that she really did care.


End file.
